


The Road to Freedom

by MASD_1138



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Bad at tagging, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Kes just wants the best for his son, M/M, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Songfic, This is pure angst, War, Worried father, but happy ending, rey is more at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 03:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MASD_1138/pseuds/MASD_1138
Summary: What is the price of freedom?





	The Road to Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> This is mainly about Kes and Poe but Rey is in it at the end. I got inspired by the song [ The Road to Freedom by Chris de Burgh ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzWLI4aUuo0) . I hope you all like angst!

Kes Dameron lays down on the bed beside his wife, molding himself to her side so she can lean against him comfortably and looks down at his newborn son. The baby is only an hour old, but Kes knows deep in his bones that this little boy, this spark of light born during a war that never seems to end, is going to change his world in more than one way. Shara is falling asleep beside him, he can feel her body getting heavier on his side, carefully putting his arm over hers so that he’s helping her cradle Poe. He tries to ignore the fact that they’ll have to leave him soon to go back to the war. He was so sure before that he would want to go back as soon as possible, that the thrill of the fight and his brothers in arms would make him run back to base to finish the job, but now, he wants nothing more than to stay hidden and safe with his family by his side.

When Shara wakes up a couple of hours later to feed her crying son, she tells her husband the same thing. They don’t speak about it again for a week. A report comes in from Leia Organa herself, telling them how she needs her ace pilot back and how General Solo needs his second in command back. They read about the last battle the Rebellion fought in, they see the number of loses and they both know what they have to do. Poe won’t have a future if the war doesn’t end. He’ll never know freedom or peace. That’s not the world they want for their son. It’s not a future they want for any children in the galaxy. 

Kes Dameron and Shara Bey leave their son two weeks after he was born to finish a war.

***

Shara loosely holds Poe’s wrist, guiding his tiny hand over the buttons and switches to teach him the shut down sequence of her A-wing. Her over excited five year old wiggles in her lap as he tries to prove to his mamà that he knows what he’s doing.

“Slow down Poe or you’ll make a mistake,” Shara coos and softly tugs on his hand to stop him from reactivating the sublight engine. “It’s this one mijo.” She places his finger on the last buttons that needs to be pressed to complete the sequence.

“Now this one mamà?” Poe asks, his hand hovering over the lever that opens the cockpit, once he pushes the other button. 

“Yes baby, it’s this one,” Shara says to him, happy that her warning has worked. 

The cockpit hisses open and Shara pulls off her helmet before removing Poe’s one. She releases the ladder and stands up, picking up Poe under his armpits to help him out of the cockpit. She smiles when she sees Kes waiting, already reaching up to help Poe down.

“Papà, I did barrel rolls today!” Poe squeaks in excitement as his father puts him down on the ground.

“Did you now? Soon enough you’ll have your own command of a squadron,” Kes jokes, laughing immediately as Poe jumps up and down on his feet, complaining that the ground feels weird.

Shara jumps down, landing beside her husband. She ruffles Poe’s hair and kisses Kes on his cheek. “Come on Poe, you have to take a shower,” she says and catches her little boy by the back of his shirt before he can start running away. 

Kes grabs the squirming boy and throws him over his broad shoulder. He takes a comically loud sniff at Poe and fake coughs. “Smelly cockpit, the worst smell in the galaxy!” He tickles Poe, making his son squirm even more. 

Shara finally convinces Poe to stand in the ‘fresher with her for at least five minutes while Kes serves the food. She lets him out when she judges that he’s clean enough and finishes cleaning herself.

“Poe, go put on some pants!” Shara sighs as she hears her husband reprimand the five-year old. Pants are still a problem for Poe Dameron.

When Shara walks into the kitchen, Poe is already eating his chili in his chair, wearing pants she notes happily. She takes her bowl and joins her husband and her son at the table.

Later, during the night, Poe comes running into their bedroom crying and jumps on their bed. Kes pulls him up so he can cradle his son to his chest. Shara turns out the bedside table light and rubs Poe’s back slowly.

“What’s wrong baby?” Shara asks. She mouths a “it’s fine honey” at Kes, hoping that he’ll drop the blaster she knows he grabbed as soon as Poe was in his arms. “Did you have a bad dream?”

Poe whimpers and burrows himself deeper in Kes’s arms. He nods quickly, his tiny hands gripping his dad’s shirt tighter.

“Do you want to tell us about it?”

“You didn’t come back,” Poe cries, breaking their hearts. “Abuelo told me that you couldn’t come back.” 

Poe was to young to really remember when they weren’t with him, but he knows what his parents did before coming to live with him on Yavin 4.

“We’re here baby. We came back to you as soon as we could.”

“I don’t want you to leave me again,” Poe keeps on crying. “Promise you’ll come back?”

“We promise we will,” Kes and Shara say at the same time.

Three years later, Shara Bey breaks her promise and doesn’t come home.

***

“I’ll be fine papà,” a sixteen year old Poe says to his dad. “We can holo-chat once a week and I’ll send you messages every day.” 

“You be careful, Poe. Don’t get cocky up there,” Kes warns his son before wrapping him in the tightest hug.

Kes Dameron watches his son board the ship that will bring him away from Yavin 4 to join the New Republic’s Navy.

***

A couple of years later, Kes receives the holo-message he hope he’d never receive. Deep in his bones, just like when Poe was born, he knew that this was going to happen. He flicks the holo-projector on and the image of his tired son appears.

_“Hi papà, I lost someone today. You remember the guy I talked to you about?” His son takes a shaky breath and leans forward. “His name was Muran.” Kes hearts breaks at the use of the past tense. “He… he died dad. He died and it could have been avoided if they had just listened to me. I told them about the First Order and they just ignored me. I heard him die. I can still hear him every time I close my eyes.” Poe looks straight at him. “I loved him. I would have died for him. Now he’s gone.” Kes cries for his son and for the boy that he never got to meet. “I defected to the Resistance,” Poe announces and Kes hears the pride in his voice. “I couldn’t just stand by anymore while the galaxy’s falling part. People are hurting and suffering and I have to do something about it.” Poe gives him a sad smile and his hand wraps around the ring he wears around his neck. “Leia Organa gave me my own squadron. The general is something else. I’ll try to send you messages, but I can’t send a lot in case they get traced. I love you papà. May the Force be with you.”_

The recording cuts off and Kes lets out a deep sob, almost falling to his knees.

“May the Force be with you mijo,” he says in his empty house, one that he’s now afraid will stay empty. “Watch over our boy Shara,” Kes whispers.

***

The next time Kes sees his son face, it’s on the wanted poster the First Order distributed all over the galaxy. The amount of credits that they are offering just for information scares him. _What did you do Poe?_ Kes can’t hide his smirk when he reads that Poe is considered “extremely dangerous and resourceful”. _That’s our son._ Kes thinks proudly and sends a prayer to the Force to protect Poe once more.

Kes tries to ignore to looks of pity from the other habitants of Yavin 4 when he goes into town. He trusts them all to keep Poe’s secret as most of them are either refugees or retired soldiers from the Rebellion. People stop asking him how Poe’s doing and Kes stops bringing up the subject to keep him safe. Sometimes, off-worlders come here for business and Kes doesn’t want more information about Poe to be spread around.

*** 

Poe being the best pilot in the galaxy won’t be enough to keep him safe, Kes learns when his son stubbles out of an unknown transpo injured. He quickly takes care of the promise his son made before running back inside to help Poe. When he walks inside Poe his sitting at the kitchen table slowly drinking a glass of water. The side of his head is heavily bruised and Kes is sure that he can see blood matted in his son’s curls. 

“What happened Poe?” Kes sits in front of him and takes his hand.

“Did you know that I could fly TIE-fighters?” Poe says with a distant look in his eyes. “Landing them, not so much.” He takes another slow sip of water.

Poe has crashed before so his father’s instinct is telling him that a lot more happened on his mission. He doesn’t want to ask where BB-8 is or what happened to his X-wing. He goes to say something but Poe’s comm unit bleeps. Poe reads the message quickly and stands up immediately. 

“I have to go. My mission isn’t finished and my squad needs me.”

“Poe jump in the sonic before you go,” Kes orders and hopes he won’t have to wrestle his son to wash himself like when he was young. “I’ll get your flight suit ready.”

While Poe stands in the sonic, Kes sits down on his son’s bed. He holds the black and red helmet in his lap, running his thumb along the scrapes on it. Five minutes later, Poe walks into his bedroom in his underwear. He throws on his undershirt before zipping himself into his orange jumpsuit, carefully strapping on the life-support system on his chest. 

Kes watches his son limp to his X-wing and climb the ladder to his cockpit and the image brings him back to twenty-four years ago when the love of his life left for her patrol and never came back. 

He prays to the Force that Poe will be allowed to come back to him.

***

Kes Dameron got pieces of his son back. He’s home, safe, but parts of Poe Dameron were turned into stardust. Not everybody can see it, but he knows his boy. It’s in the way Poe’s hands shake after there’s a loud noise or a sudden movement. He can see it during the meals when Poe only eats half a portion. He sees Poe at night standing on the shore of the lake from his bedroom window. 

But he’s not the only one who sees it. The girl Poe brought back home with him seems to know everything. _Her name is Rey papà and I love her_ Kes remembers the day they came back. He had never had the chance to see his son being in love before. He’s only seen the heartbreak that changed everything. Rey, just as Poe calls her, is a ray of sunshine in both of their lives. She’s so eager to learn and work. She’s the one who wraps her arms around Poe and brings him back inside during he’s wakeful nights. She’s the reason Poe is starting to get his appetite back since he loves cooking food for her. 

Kes can also see the distant look in their eyes sometimes. The same look both Shara and him had when they retired, but at times a lot more intense. He sees it in the way she never enter a rooms without looking at all the exit. He hears it at night when distant cries wake him up and he hears both of them comforting each other. He never asks them what truly happened during the war, but he knows it has something to do with the day Poe came back from Jakku. Kes often wonders what was the price for their freedom.

He’s watching both of them right now. They are laying in a hammock together in the backyard, swaying slowly under the shade of the trees. It’s warm outside and humid. _Should I tell them to come back inside?_ Kes wonders, predicting that it will rain soon. He decides against it when he sees Poe’s smile, the one he hasn’t seen in years. Poe’s hand is stroking Rey’s stomach and Kes has a feeling deep in his bones that something really good is going to be said tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> P.s Don't send any anonymous negative comments comparing damerey authors with each other. Let's be supportive instead and leave nice uplifting comments. Thank you for reading!


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